Apologies for the Rant

There's a limit to how many times I can hear "everything happens for a reason" and "no regrets," but it seems there's no such limit to the people who believe those statements. So that brings us here.

Not that God doesn't exist, and things do happen for reasons. However, whenever I hear "everything," it's normally used consolingly. You failed your test? It happened for some unseen reason and that failing grade will benefit you in the end. You turned into an alcoholic and your friends and family have disowned you? Surely there's some divine, benevolent force smiling upon you who delivers you misfortune only to sweeten your triumph.

There are reasons for everything. But maybe the reason you have a drinking problem is psychological, or a result of you not knowing how to handle your problems-not the plans of some jolly protector who guarantees your eventual redemption. Who can tell you to not / believe in God? But attributing the lows of your life to invisible, eternally benevolent reasons rather than the ones you can see, correct, and control will only lead to continued lows.

Those with depression or psychological problems can't always control or explain the bad emotions they experience. But staking one's hopes on the phrase "everything happens for a reason" is an excuse for such people to not seek help. To stay depressed. "Everything happens for a reason" is often shouted by those who want everything without giving a reason for deserving it.

"No regrets" is another gem. Sleep with ten guys in one night, betray your friends, and hurt the ones you love. But when you wake up in the morning, don't dare look back on your mistakes.

It is not possible to learn from mistakes without first acknowledging them and then determining their causes. Regret, or feeling pain while looking back on a past misdeed, can be a powerful teacher. It's true that nobody can change the past. Dwelling on it will get you nowhere. However, letting regret control your life and learning from the regrets you have are two different things. Regretting missteps can remind a person to walk with a more deliberate gait. Having no regrets after doing something regrettable is unrealistic and immoral. Keeping regrets and using them to improve the future is more effective than disowning them.